Motivating Mum

A year or so ago I wrote a blog post on Leaving the Country with Daughter, not with Dad. It was all about the struggle I was experiencing with moving to Oz with my daughter and leaving her Dad behind.

Now it’s my turn. I am two days away from leaving the UK for Oz and my daughter will be staying with her Dad for three months. In the lead up, whenever I told anyone about the arrangements for my daughter’s care this year I was always greeted with the same question ‘Are you going to be okay with that?’

I was. If I was feeling sad, imagine how her Dad was feeling spending so much time away from her. I could only imagine. And then there was Amelie. In the three months preceding this trip she had become increasingly upset at being apart from her Dad and would often cry whilst looking at his picture, heart beaking stuff.

When we got to the UK airport the reunion between the two of them nearly made me cry. I was so happy that Amelie was so happy. So happy I was able to do this for them.

The following few days have been harder. I have basically been rejected by her 80% of the time – wanting to sit on Daddy’s knee, not mine, wanting to watch movies with Daddy, not me. Although I know she’s loving the fact that she’s near him again it’s hard when I know I’ll be leaving in a few days and can’t get a look in. All I want to do is cuddle my little girl as much as possible but all she wants are cuddles from Daddy.

So it’s a tough situation to be in – tough for all of us – and it’s not ever going to get any easier. We’ve all cried and now it’s my turn. I know I certainly will be when I have to force myself to walk away from my little girl and return home without her.

Cheers, Alli x

A Sponsored Post

When I was offered the opportunity of a free copy of Fantasia to review, I jumped at the chance. What a fab film to watch with my daughter!

When it arrived in the mail I couldn’t wait to get it into the DVD and get my little one plonked in front. To her repeated queries of ‘Where’s Mickey Mouse?’ I would answer ‘Sssshhh, just watch this bit’ and ‘Quiet, just watch that bit’.

It made me realise I was probably more excited to have her watch it than she was. Which got me thinking, why was I so excited? Why was I so keen to share these old films, cartoons, music, books with her that I had loved as a child?

Yes, it was because I loved them but aren’t we just a little too invested in our children loving them as much as us? And aren’t we all a little disappointed if they don’t? I decided it could be one of a few things (or a mix of all):

1. These are memories we cherish and we want to help our children create similar memories. Memories they will associate with the beauty of discovery as a child.
2. Maybe in this world of nintendo and wii we’re really keen to try and help our children capture the feeling of a time that was a lot more innocent.
3. Having children allows us to rediscover a lot of feelings we had all but lost touch with in our 20′s. Watching a much-loved classic with our kids allows us the chance to reminisce.

So did I do any of the above? Well, she keeps asking to watch the bits with the fairies and the mushrooms and Mickey Mouse – so just maybe. And as for me, well, I was able to recapture a little of that feeling all those years ago when I watched Fantasia for the first time…might just go get a warm milk and pop it in the DVD again!

What would you love/have you loved sharing with your kids? I’d love to know, please share below.

Cheers! Alli x

‘What?!’ and ‘Wow, that’s amazing!’ are generally two of the comments I get when I tell people that my daughter’s Dad (and my ex) will be joining us all for Christmas and staying over for a few days to boot.

I have never before thought to question these reactions, and have always agreed for the sake of brevity, but given the impending nature of his visit it got me wondering why this type of a situation is so unheard of it prompts people to reply in this way.

Now I know that there are couples out there that have terrible break-ups and cheating or money tears them apart. I know there are also those that believe that once you break up with someone you can never (or should never) be friends. But what about all those people that don’t fall into these categories? Where are they?

And where are all those ex-couples that fall into my category? The category that believes that even though you do still sometimes annoy the crap out of each other you always put your kids and their happiness first and work very hard to get along? Surely there must be enough out there that my having ex-partner over for Chrissy should almost seem the done thing?

So Chrissy dinner this year will be a family affair (literally), me, my partner, my parents, my two gals (one of which belongs to ex-partner) and ex-partner. And I can’t wait! For me, having both myself and her Dad in the same place will make my little minx so happy and that’s Christmas present enough for me.

Cheers (and Happy Christmas), Alli x

p.s. keep your fingers crossed planes start getting out of Heathrow so my little gal’s Dad can make it.

p.p.s what’s your unusual family arrangement this Chrissy?

Whilst in conversation with a mum the other day she told me that her husband wasn’t supportive of her interest in coaching or NLP because he thought it was airy fairy.  It took me straight back.  To the many conversations and situations dotted throughout my relationship with my ex where I found myself in exactly the same position.  ‘Coaching was hippie’ish’ ’I shouldn’t expect any money to put into a business’ It’s great you’ve achieved this but what’s it worth?’